It is in our nature to gravitate toward the comfortable and away from the uncomfortable. There is little more enticing than a comfortable rut. But no sooner do we get in one and we begin to feel uncomfortable. How did we get here?
It is a natural flow for us humans, gliding easily from one rut to another. We do this because our ruts are comfortable. We feel safe in our ruts. And for many people this is a perfectly acceptable way to navigate life. As long as there is comfort, there is nothing really to complain about. In a worse-case scenario, if we notice ourselves feeling discomfort in a rut, it just means it is time to find a new one!
It’s different for leaders. Leaders are compelled to lead and who needs a leader in a rut? Ruts require managers, not leaders. A decent manager can keep people focused on the job at hand and keep employee turnover to a minimum. Just keep the comfort and security feeling up just high enough and all will continue as it should.
No, a real leader must lead. And this is the rub, you see, leaders can fall prey to the siren song of comfort just as easily as anyone else. And they often do. This is where I come in.
I am not a guru. I am not a mentor. I don’t try to tell a leader what to do — areal leader is not interested in being told what to do. What I do is this — I first listen and learn. We get to know each other and see if we get the feeling we can develop a strong, personal working alliance. It will be a close relationship. It will not be about the business, the office politics, the board, etc. It will be about you. Our journey together begins and ends with you. We will both learn about what really makes you tick. You will learn to look in the mirror in a whole new way andI will be holding that mirror. You will learn how you might be getting in your own way, even undermining yourself. You may find that the goals you have been seeking no longer attract you. We shall turn over many stones, unpick old stories, dig up old memories, and some new ones.
We will find out what puts a smile on your face, what makes your heart race. We will weed out those behaviours that no longer serve you well, and identify new ones that will. Technically speaking the process is called integrated, relational therapy. Don’t kid yourself, it is a demanding process but the rewards can be significant. You cannot go through this hesitantly — you are either in or out. there is no half assing this. If I feel you are not fully engaged, I will call time on the effort until you are ready to give it what it takes. Time wise it is an investment of one, two-hour sessions every two weeks, plus some homework. There are no surveys or forms or standard psychological profiles undertaken unless that sort of thing interests you. I prefer to talk and to listen. It is a series of Socratic, helpful conversations. Our conversations will be via Zoom over the internet, in the comfort and privacy of our places of work or at home. Our engagement may also include up to two hours of unscheduled phone conversations per month. If you need to talk to me and can’t wait until our next session you can just call me.