It has often been said that when things are going well we cannot imagine a time when things will go badly. Likewise, when things are going badly, we cannot imagine them going well again. I think we all have seen evidence of this. How many people, when times are good, stack away reserves, saving for a rainy day? And how many people, when times are tough, see that as the time to push the boat out, take a chance, and embrace change? Instead, when times are good we celebrate and when times are bad we circle the wagons and burn the furniture.
It is easy to forget that when all boats are rising, so too are the cost of boats. It is also easy to forget that opportunity costs are often much lower in down economies. Down economies are often the very best time to test business ideas that have been ruminating during the good times but never acted upon because time was such a scarce resource. As sure as the sun rises in the morning, so too the economic pendulum will eventually swing the other way. But instead of allowing a down economy to stifle your growth, use it to accelerate it. Our frustration is poorly aimed if we just focus on the fact that the pendulum exists as there is nothing we can do about that. Our frustration is also poorly aimed if we focus just on when the pendulum might swing next — again, it is not something we can easily influence, but keeping an eye on this is smart. Our focus will always be best employed in thinking about how we can best use the current pendulum state to our best advantage. And every pendulum state offers opportunity.
There’s no avoiding it — it’s like death and taxes — sooner or later the shit will hit the fan and something unpleasant will enter your life. It’s as sure as they day you were born. And while we can undertake a life of mitigation and risk avoidance, sometimes it just feels like it was going to happen no matter what we did. Spending one’s life finding ways to avoid life’s hammer seems sensible enough and we all do it to varying degrees. But if we accept that the hammer is coming for us all eventually regardless of what we do to avoid it, shouldn’t we at least be doing something to prepare for it? And when it does hit, what should we do to recover from the blow? These are worthy questions. These are the questions I explore with clients each and every day.
The hammer comes in many forms — getting passed over for promotion, not getting that dream job, being made redundant, watching your industry being reduced by an emerging one, sickness, marital problems, death. Some of these blows, and other blows are likely to strike us all at least once in our lives. So what can we do? Anything?
Well, yes and no. There are avoidance strategies that we all undertake in the hope of avoiding these and other potential blows. But we must accept that we cannot avoid all of life’s hardships. So we must do more to prepare ourselves for them. We will talk more about that later. For now it is good for us to be mindful of what I’ve just described. Between now and when you die there will be some unpleasantness entering your life. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way life is. What we need to do is embrace that reality and begin to think about how much of your life you wish to invest in avoidance. How much of your income do you want to spend on insurances, how many things do you want to turn down because of the risk of unpleasantness? How much of life’s possibilities will you deny yourself in the name of playing it safe? We all draw these lines in different places. Where do you want to draw yours? And while you think about ho wmuch of yourself you wish to invest in avoidance, think too about how prepared for the impact of life’s little disasters you really are. How do you respond when things don’t go to plan? Would you like to make some changes there?
Who knows when it all started, this notion that there must
be no sonic gaps in a life, that silence is not only not golden, but it is in
fact awkward and therefore unseemly? We have even gone so far as to attach the
word and notion of death to silence. We have turned our backs on quiet and
embraced a never-ending wall of sound.
Continue reading “A Deathly Quiet”
I found myself sat in a small, wooden chair within a good
sized cage. Behind me, sat outside the cage were three dogs eyeing me intently.
Inside the cage in front of me was small wooden box with an opening facing me. Through
that opening, by the light of a bulb lit within, I could see pieces of
newspapers spread like a kind of carpet on the floor. Resting in a heap to one
side was a seething mass of puppies, making those funny chirping sounds that
fat, contented puppies make. Then, from one side of the opening came a single
puppy. He was about the length of my hand, unsteadyish on his feet still. His
eyes were a beautiful shade of blue. He tumbled out of the box, regained his
composure and walked over to me. He gently took the end of one of my shoe laces
into his teeth and stepped back until he had successfully untied my shoe. He
then walked back over between my feet, sat down, curled up, and went to sleep.
This was my first encounter with my future brother, Cosmo.
Continue reading “My Silent Brother, Cosmo”
I get a lot of questions about this blog these days so it seems wise to cover some of the basics. In journalistic terms we call ‘the who, what, when, where, and why,’ the five Ws.
Continue reading “The Five Ws”
A death. A hideous diagnosis. A terrible injury. These and
other blows from life’s hammer are devastating in the extreme. And many times
we look at the human wreckage left in the wake of such experiences and we begin
to believe that sometimes there are blows from which we simply cannot recover.
Continue reading “What goes down must come up”
Loneliness outnumbers us. Loneliness outguns us. It is everywhere. It lurks in every shadow, just steps from us, like some phantom bankruptcy, ready to stain every happiness on to which we cling. Continue reading “One is the Loneliest Number”
Long before all living memory, and even beyond the reach of history, there existed a time of what today we might call magic. It was not adolescents waving sticks and speaking incantations. It was not old hags burning candles in front of cauldrons filled with eyes of newts and toes of frogs. Neither was is prehistoric hippies chanting to trees. It was a dark magic, that sometimes granted dark gifts. The magic is gone, but these dark gifts still present themselves even to this day.
Continue reading “The Dark Gifts”
It’s been a long day at the salt mines. And like most such days it was filled with the usual joys, disappointments and petty maneuverings that make work such a mediocre place to spend such a large portion of one’s life. But at least the day is over. Thankfully the day was punctuated by numerous thoughts, memories, daydreams, of those he loved, loves, and misses.
Continue reading “The Two Homes”
This is a very beautiful question and I am grateful that you have asked it. It seems to me, that if we love, we grieve. That’s the deal. That’s the pact. Grief and love are forever intertwined. Grief is the terrible reminder of the depths of our love and, like love, grief is non-negotiable.
Continue reading “Nick Cave on Grief and Love”