As a change-agent coach, it is common for me to come across leaders who report being told they over-react to situations. When asked if they believe the accusation, few admit they do. At first, that is. But when pressed, most admit that they do, but don't see that as a problem. In fact, many say it helps them temper their otherwise possibly more rash impulses. This rationalisation, and what it masks is something that deserves closer scrutiny.
It has often been said that when things are going well we cannot imagine a time when things will go badly. Likewise, when things are going badly, we cannot imagine them going well again. I think we all have seen evidence of this. How many people, when times are good, stack away reserves, saving for … Continue reading That Damned Pendulum
So now you have some idea of what I mean by life's hammer. More than likely you have already experienced it. To reiterate, it is not just what we might call catastrophic loss (but it could be). It could be any setback in life. But what really defines life's hammer is how you react to the setback. So, it's not the setback itself that gives the hammer its power of impact -- it is how we perceive the setback that gives it the power. let me explain...
There's no avoiding it --- it's like death and taxes -- sooner or later the shit will hit the fan and something unpleasant will enter your life. It's as sure as they day you were born. And while we can undertake a life of mitigation and risk avoidance, sometimes it just feels like it was … Continue reading Life’s Hammer
Who knows when it all started, this notion that there must be no sonic gaps in a life, that silence is not only not golden, but it is in fact awkward and therefore unseemly? We have even gone so far as to attach the word and notion of death to silence. We have turned our … Continue reading A Deathly Quiet
I found myself sat in a small, wooden chair within a good sized cage. Behind me, sat outside the cage were three dogs eyeing me intently. Inside the cage in front of me was small wooden box with an opening facing me. Through that opening, by the light of a bulb lit within, I could … Continue reading My Silent Brother, Cosmo
I get a lot of questions about this blog these days so it seems wise to cover some of the basics. In journalistic terms we call 'the who, what, when, where, and why,' the five Ws.
It seems almost comical to think what used to rock our worlds. A first bicycle, a first kiss. Then the ante was raised to the first car, the first shag. The trend seemed irreversible. With every passing year the pains and pleasures became more intense. But anyone with a smart phone knows, this trend reverses. … Continue reading The Age of Nano Pleasure
A death. A hideous diagnosis. A terrible injury. These and other blows from life’s hammer are devastating in the extreme. And many times we look at the human wreckage left in the wake of such experiences and we begin to believe that sometimes there are blows from which we simply cannot recover.
Loneliness outnumbers us. Loneliness outguns us. It is everywhere. It lurks in every shadow, just steps from us, like some phantom bankruptcy, ready to stain every happiness on to which we cling. It preys equally on those who are alone, and those who are not. It stalks both the happy and the depressed. At this … Continue reading One is the Loneliest Number
Wonky 